blogging my thoughts.

I am really bad at blogging....
I understand that.....
but I will continue to slowly post my random thoughts....
not really for anyone.....
but for myself.

I am here is Sweden and I am seriously living the dream!
Anyone who has studied abroad will tell you that it is an amazing experience,
and it TRULY is.

I am going to school longer than I should.
I worked two jobs this summer.
I have lost contact with people back home.
I have been sad.
I have missed holidays.
I get lost.
I have drained my life savings.
I miss my mom.
and trust me....
The list goes on...

BUT REALLY.....
you guys!!!

I am in Sweden!
I have seen 7 different countries.
I have picked up a little bit of German and Swedish.
I got to teach english as a second language for 5 weeks.
I have made true friendships with people from all over the world.
I went shopping in Paris.
I have laughed until I cried.
and cried until I laughed.
I have learned to cook.
I have been motivated to go to F.H.E.
(big deal)
I have done things I never could have imagined.
I have walked bazillions of miles.
I have ridden in trains through countries.
I have slept outside a bus station.
I have had a 4 month break from reality.
I drove to Norway.
I have seen life outside of the Utah Bubble.
I have lived outside of the Utah Bubble.
I have taken over 3,000 pictures.
I have seen things I haven't wanted too.
and learned things I didn't need too.
I have grown a love for Scandinavian people.
I have lived in a foreign country.

I have absolutely loved every moment.

I have had
THE BEST TIME.

I truly am so blessed to have had this opportunity.
I feel bad for those who don't take the chance when they can.
Everyone can travel. and Everyone needs to travel.

It is an incredible experience in which you learn things that
can't be learned anywhere else.

It is real life.
It is the good life.

Dark.

Day-light saving was a couple weeks ago

and the change was drastic to say the least!
Coming to Sweden I was warned that
the days were short....
but seriously you guys....
the days are
short.

The sun rises SUPER early....
I am not sure the exact time but it is up by
6 a.m.
When does it set?
You thought that it starting to get dark around 5 was early....
try....
it looks like midnight at
 4:00 in the AFTERNOON!

I was warned yes... but I was not prepared.

As many of you are familiar with my stories,
 I live by big lakes.
This means that when it is dark, it is foggy.
Really foggy.
And there are lots of trees,
if I am not painting a good enough picture....
imagine a haunted swamp....
that is what it feels like sometimes.

What I am having the hardest time understanding,
is the people here in Vaxjo don't seem to notice.

Oh you want to go for a run?
in the pitch black
next to a lake
and a forest
by yourself?
NBD PEOPLE!!

At lease they wear reflective clothing here.

Literally, EVERYONE wears reflective clothing
after about 2 p.m.
it's AWESOME!!

yet... still one of the few cultural differences that I will not be bringing home with me. sue me.

and no.... none of the pictures in this post are mine... I am lazy and just trying to get a point across. sorry.

The meaning of life...

The meaning of life is to live it.

I have this quote posted everywhere.
It seriously does SO much for me.

It makes me spontaneous, it helps me through hard times,
 it motivates me, it is the theme of my life. 

Being here in Europe I have seen dozens of memorials and read hundreds of plaques that all have the same message as well. I thought that I understood hard times, I thought that I understood war. I thought that I had a grasp on what living your life to the fullest meant. I was wrong. I have learned so much here in Europe and everyday I am reminded of what a blessing life is. 

Each country I visit, each city I see,
there is something new to learn
 and something new to apply to my life. 

Berlin is one of the coolest cities I have ever been to. I didn't think much of it while I was there. It was not flashy like Paris, it was not culturally rich like Prague... It was... Berlin. Berlin has had a past that you cannot understand until you visit it. Berlin was the center of WWII and the Cold War. It has been destroyed and rebuilt several times and is still in the process of this. My favorite part of this city? Hands down, the memorials. They seem to be the only things in the city that are not under-construction or that stand solely for good reason. The entire city is under construction but every corner you turn you are reminded of how precious and beautiful life and peace are. 

In Amsterdam we went to Anne Frank's house and it was definitely a highlight of my trip there. 

Anne Frank was a young jewish girl who desired to be free. As she hid with her family whispering, tip toeing, and holding back the screams and tears of life, she wrote things that are profound and will stick with me forever. I have taken dancing, laughing, crying, yelling, jumping, and running for granted. I have the blessing of not only life, but a free life. I am able to be who I want and do things as I please. Can you imagine not being able to cry or laugh? I can't. They tend to be my favorite ways of releasing my emotions, Anne Frank and her sister were not allowed to do either. 

Dachau, Germany is home to the Dachau WWII concentration camp. This is the biggest camp in Germany and it was incredible. I cannot begin to explain the feelings that were felt here. The world's most cruel people were here stealing the lives of thousands of innocent people. I cannot begin to put into words that emotions that I felt here. I wish that I could. I wish that I could better explain my experience here. But I can't seem to find the way to say it. It was the saddest place I have ever been, not the let's break down and start sobbing, but the heart wrenching, perma chills, speechless, cold sad. If the victims of hate here had hope; I need to have hope too. There will always be a brighter tomorrow, you just can't quit or lose hope before it comes. You may think life cannot get darker or that things couldn't get worse. And they will. Things will get brighter and better though as well. It just takes time, hope, and healing. Endure. 

A few more reminders of what life is and what we need to make of it.

Holocaust memorial (Berlin)

(Berlin)

Memorial and Dachau Camp (Dachau)

(Dachau)

(Dachau)

Jewish grave of ashes (Dachau)

(Dachau)

(Dachau)

Czech is free (Prague)

Destroyed in WWII (Prague)

Parts of building are the only things that remain (Prague)

Statue standing across the line of the border to the Jewish Ghetto

(Prague)

Oldest remaining building is a Jewish Synagogue 

(Prague)

Graveyard of Jews 20,000 headstones, possibly 100,000 buried

(Prague)

An entire building for one statue of a mom holding her soldier son

(Berlin)

Gestapo and S.S. head quarters (Berlin)

Check point between freedom and not. (Berlin)

Hope for a brighter tomorrow (Berlin)

Where a wall stood that encircled and captivated an entire society of innocent people

(Berlin)

Remaining pieces of The Wall (Berlin)

(Berlin)

(Berlin)

Anne Frank House (Amsterdam)

(Amsterdam)

Living is a blessing.
I have always known this but it is always nice to be reminded of it.
Thousands and thousands of people all around the world
 have had their lives taken away from them.
 Mine has not yet been taken, so I need to live.
I need to live my life to the fullest and so do you. 

scream, laugh, jump, and be happy. 

rainy days in vekwa..

Let's go back in time a little bit.... 

once upon a time I went to India.

It did not only rain there, the entire city flooded.

but the people carried on life like it happened EVERY day.

Do  you remember the last time that it rained like this?

I do..... 

it was today.

I have tried to convince myself multiple times to love the rain...

it has never worked.

Living here in Vaxjo, I am learning to love the rain.

It does not only rain here every single day... it POURS. 

It often times feels like buckets of water are being poured out above us. 

There is no break in the drops... there actually aren't drops...

It is just a constant flow of water.

and I am learning to love it. 

I am indifferent about the curly hair, the smudged make up, 

the wet jeans, and constantly wearing my jacket.

but I truly love riding my bike through big puddles,

my feet being dry and warm inside of my rain boots,

the way the rain makes the lakes look like oceans in a storm,

the shiny droplets on the fallen autumn leaves,

the smell of freshness and renewal after each storm,

the laughter that goes on while getting drenched,

the screams of joy when it goes from raining to pouring,

the dry sweats you get to put on after,

the sound of the rain on my window,

I really am loving it all.

Some things can be a little more difficult than others.

Number one on the difficult list for me is my ability to BLOG.... I am fully aware that I am not so good at keeping it up to date..... sorry..... I am just really busy and have a REALLY hard time putting my pictures onto my computer. Here are some pros and cons to living in the beautiful little town that I do....

con: We get lost EVERYWHERE we go....

pro: I live with a model named LUDWIG.

con: Bacon is allowed to come in a tube but Mac&Cheese is toooo processed for Europeans...

pro: Jan, Tobi, and Stefan are the 3 nicest German boys I have ever met, and I have the privilege to live with them. 

con: It is always raining so it is impossible to take a picture with straight hair or without a coat on.

pro: my church is less than 1 mile away and is in a yellow farm house!

con: it is impossible to find ingredients to make Chocolate Chip Cookies.

con continued..... With the ingredients closest to the correct ones.... you get baby chocolate chip pancakes. ish.

pro: I get to Skype the cutest boy in the world almost every single day.

con: my shower curtain is slightly too short....

pro: people back home love us and send us American food! (yes, it is stored in a cabinet that locks in my bedroom)

con: my bike doesn't have a pedal.

pro: I am able to take a stunning picture of Vaxjo at least once a day.

con: the decorations at some parties slightly look like stake dance decor or blown up colored condoms.

pro: Kebab. I eat it every single time I go out for dinner.

con: when riding bikes home in the middle of the night in heels, you can sometimes fall and rip your tights.

pro: I have the loveliest friends.

 I ran out of cons so I will continue with the pros.

pro: old men race sailboats as a hobby here.

pro: when you get lost, it often times looks like a fairy tale.

pro: Katie's bike is harder to ride than mine...

look closely at how straight her tire is.

pro: I have friends who will walk to the grocery store with when all I am craving is a chocolate bar.

pro: I have more pictures of stain glass windows than I can count.

pro: I get to walk on beautiful streets every day.

pro: Katie and I are pros at taking self times pictures now.

pro, pro, pro, pro I could go on forever. I LOVE it here!

Ultimately there is so much to say and so many pictures to show from my adventure here! And I hate to bore you all though with the SUPER LONG posts. I try to sum it up shortly but it never seems to work. Maybe if I posted more often it would be easier.... but I don't.... so as for now you have to deal with this.