My mom is one incredible person.
It would be impossible to put into words everything great about her and why I love her so much.
For starters, she gets me.
She understands every happy moment and sad moment I have. She gives THE best advice. Sometimes I don't like to hear it, and I like to tell her she is wrong... she never is. She sees the important details in everything.
My mom loves. She loves with her whole heart and nothing less. She has taught me that family is important and life needs to be enjoyed. She seizes every moment and she has such a passion for life.
My mom is an example.
I bet sometimes my mom worries about us kids. She doesn't need to. She has taught us so much and we are becoming incredible people because of her. She is always showing me how to love, live, care, enjoy, accomplish, understand, dream, love, love and love.
My mom puts up with a lot. A lot of tears, a lot of sass, a lot of laziness, and a whole lot of crazy. She may get mad but it always ends in a smile. She also will stand up for me and my three siblings no matter what the situation. When I say no matter the situation, I mean it.
She likes drama. She doesn't think so, and she likes to roll her eyes when me and piper get stuck on tangents and rants about the people we surround ourselves with... but she loves it. She cares about her little, but not so little girls. As much as she may hate the emotion sometimes, she never hates our feelings, and she always reminds us that it is okay to feel.
My mom is funny.
Have you met the lady?!
I haven't met anyone who has disagreed.
She is funny.
Oh another thing. She loves her flowers, her yard, her antiques, and her cupcakes. NEVER hate on ANY of them. She will kick your butt. She will yell at your friends if they are stepping on the plants in the yard, she will make cupcakes for anyone who doubts her skills, and she will beat you with one of her 75 rolling pins if you comment on her being a hoarder. I mean antique collector.
P.S. she is beautiful. inside and out. and has been since day one.
While on a drive with my cute dad he asked, "If you could meet anyone who would you want to meet?" Instantly, as I am sure any of us would ask, I asked, "dead or alive?" He said alive. This instantly trumped my dream of meeting Mother Teresa; so I had to sit and wonder....
Before I could come up with an answer we talked about celebrities, the allstars, the movie stars, the #1 business men and women and how neat it would be to meet them but only for a brief moment. And how it could be so much more rewarding to meet someone else. We also concluded that God's plan includes them.... That their selfish ways and disgusting amounts of money are here for a reason. That reason, I decided, was to show us that a little more is always a little better and we will never have enough.
I then thought back to a trip I took to India. In India I realized that the happiest people in life have the littlest amounts. That when you are forced to find joy in your impoverished situations it is not as difficult. It makes my heart hurt for all of the times I want more and for when I think that what I have isn't enough.
I have more than enough.
The answer to my dad's question then came, it is too hard to figure that out, because ultimately I want to meet a person who is fulfilling my dreams. Who is giving their entire life to do what they can to make the world a better place. A person who is not looking for fame, money, their name in a book or newspaper, but someone who is just giving. I want so badly to be that person, that is the person I want to meet. It is too hard to find that person because that person is far from the tabloids and not sitting in the big corporate office. That person is out in the world encouraging people, bringing happiness, sharing peace, and changing the world.
You may have thought of someone. I thought of one. Our prophet, Thomas S. Monson. I don't want to meet him to gain more insight on God, to shake hands with someone who is known worldwide, but because he is someone who wants the world to be better and lives everyday of his life working to make it that way. I then decided I would be too overwhelmed meeting him, and that I need to just become that person I want to meet. On my own.
Dream Big.
The purpose of life is… Above all else, is to matter, to count, to stand for something, to have it made some difference that we lived at all.
Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.
-Cinderella Story
I had the chance to go to dinner with someone I care about more than he will ever know. He not only makes my best friend the happiest girl in the whole world but he manages to listen to a lot of what I have to say and gives me some of the BEST advice.
I have been in this rut where I continually am holding back because of WHAT IF situations. I can't do this anymore. What if is the worst thing that we can do. Sure we need to think about the future and consider options but we should never let the unknown keep us form something that makes us happy.
I have always been a live in the moment go with the flow kind of girl but lately, not so much. I am always thinking about what could be best, or what might be best... But you never really know if what happens truly is or was the best.
It is a difficult concept but it hasn't left my mind since dinner. You never know what is going to happen so you really do need to take every moment as it comes. If something makes you happy and there is chance it will continue making you happy then keep doing it. The only time to stop is when it doesn't give you happiness any longer.
I kept asking him, but what if something will make me more happy? His only words were then that something will make you more happy. It is out of my control until it happens. Everything happens for a reason and I need to remember that each day. Each day my decisions will effect who I am and who I become. If something is meant to be that isn't happening, God will make it happen.
As for now I need to live my life and live it to the fullest. Each day finding happiness. Each day doing what I love.
Lately I have needed a little help in my life. Some days go by where I am just extremely lazy. 90% of last semester was spent in class or at the library and despite taking more credits this semester I find myself focused on everything but school more and more. Maybe it is because I have spring fever.. maybe it is because all I want is a job where I can have an income.. maybe it is because I am the only one of my roommates in school.. maybe it is because a certain boy has made his way back into my life, or I have made my way back into his.. maybe it is because I have senioritis..... My dad once asked me if I wanted to graduate early, if I wanted to enter college with credits, or an associates degree, I told him no. I wanted the full college experience! I told him that this was the only time in my life I would be going to college and I didn't want to miss ANY of it. well... here I am in my fourth year of college with a lot more than 3/4 of a semester left. The end is barely barely barely in sight...
So the point of this post was to not remind you/myself about how much I hate the idea of school right now it is for a little more. I wanted to share with you what I has been getting me through the cold, the homework, and the bad days. it is a little motivation. motivation I find on pinterest, society6 posters, and YouTube.
I love Christmas.
It is my favorite holiday by far.
The month of December is filled with family gatherings, good food, laughter, memories, and generous hearts. I could thank a lot of people for making the holiday season so great but there is one person who makes Christmas time my favorite. That person is my Grandma Sandy. Each aunt, uncle, cousin, and sibling will agree. Grandma makes Christmas what it is. My grandma's spirit is everywhere. On every table, every decoration, the christmas carols, the memories, each detail, she is there. No one will understand but she makes Christmas magical. Our family traditions keep us close and remind us of the amazing person who influenced who we are today. Each Christmas eve before singing carols around her grave the girls in my family gather around the piano and sing the forgotten carols. It is the same song every year, tears are shed by all around, and grandma is there with us. Just hearing the song gives me chills and I am sure it does each member of my family. I can't wait for Christmas.
3 months ago today my relationship ended.
Since then, I still have a hard time getting out of bed,
I stay up late with my mind wandering,
and I most definitely have not fallen out of love.
3 months people....
that is a long time.
In the last 3 months if we have had a conversation, I have more likely than not asked for some sort of relationship advice or internally felt more pathetic than a spineless hedgehog.
Well to say the least I have gotten really good advice... sometimes it helps... other times not so much.
I have heard that these emotions make you feel alive.
I have heard that getting out of bed can be an accomplishment somedays.
I have heard that time is good.
I have heard that I just need a little hope and faith.
Hope, faith, time, waking up, and being alive.
This is what I need and you may need it too.
I don't know if it is just me but a lot of the relationships that surrounded my life the past couple of months are deteriorating. Does this mean that February, March, and April of 2013 will have a staggering less amount of engaged couples than in previous years?
probably not.
But it does mean that I am not alone.
And that is what keeps me together most days.
Knowing that my hardships are not unique and that if I expect others to pull through, I need to too.
